Either she was going to jail, or I was.
As I pulled back my fist to deal out what I felt would have been justifiable justice, I paused for a moment and thought, "She's going to jail or I am..."
This was another in a long line of violent, abusive, drunken evenings that I had the extreme displeasure of being the recipient of.
During that time I was spending four to five nights per week trying not to get murdered by my alcoholic ex, and trying to keep my one year-old safe.
I was working mandatory overtime at a "good job" in those days, which meant that I was trapped at work all day, 6 days per week, while my ex drove around drunk with my baby girl in the car, while she neglected the baby, failing to change diapers, failing to feed her.
Sometimes I'd get home after work, and my daughter would be standing in her crib screaming crying for help and I'd find "Mommy" passed out in the other room. God knows how long she would be left unattended.
This really pissed me off.
And if you've never had to live with a full-blown violent alcoholic, you may not know that the way to really set them off—to really ignite the verbal and physical abuse—is to tell them to, "Stop drinking." You may as well be demanding that they dig out their own heart with a spoon.
Typically, I'd arrive home from work and say, "Hello," and my ex would say, "Fu** you!" You know, really nice and friendly-like.
Well, one night she was in particularly rare form, blacked-out drunk but still functioning. I don't know how people do that. If I have two beers I just want to sleep.
For whatever reason, that night she didn't want me touching the baby. God knows why. Somehow or other her blacked-out personality got the idea that I was, "... trying to take my daughter away!".
At one point she had snuck the baby into the pickup truck and was trying to drive away with her, but the truck was blocked in by my car. That didn't seem to matter. She just drove the truck into the car and tried to push it out of the way with the truck.
When I came running outside and realized what was happening I tried to get my daughter out of the car and while I was trying to get her out of her car seat I was taking punches from the ex, unable to defend myself because both hands were occupied with unbuckling.
In the course of fighting over the baby (I just didn't think driving our kid around while you're completely wasted was a safe idea) we ended up in a situation where my ex was tugging on my daughter's arm, clearly hurting her and would not stop pulling, an attempt to get her from me...
So I pulled back my fist, and honestly, I was ready to knock her damn head off her shoulders, but I paused and realized, "She's going to jail or I am..."
I sure didn't want my daughter to be left stuck with her mom considering the constant drinking.
So I never did swing. I never threw that punch.
I instead had to let go of my daughter, so she wouldn't get hurt.
My ex took the baby and locked herself in the bathroom.
I called the cops.
A few minutes later my daughter surprisingly came walking into the living room. I grabbed her and locked us in the bedroom.
My ex began trying to knock the door down. She was running the length of the hallway, full speed, smashing her body into the door, and I had to hold the door shut with my foot as she did this over and over (hurting herself in the process, mind you... which she'd later claim were injuries that I caused).
So there I was, standing on one foot, the other foot pressed against the door, my daughter in one arm and the phone in the other hand, the 911 operator on the line, waiting for the police to show up. My daughter was hyperventilating from the extended upset and non-stop crying, and she was so emotionally stressed from all the yelling and violence that she was throwing up all over me and the floor of the bedroom.
Sounds like a great time right?
Allow me to also add that our home was several months behind on payments and was going into foreclosure. My ex was spending our money on booze and we could not pay our bills, though I worked mandatory overtime every single week.
My days were essentially one big headache, non-stop worrying about whether my daughter was safe, wondering what the Hell was going on when no one would answer the phone.
I had already used all my sick days and vacation days skipping out of work to deal with my out-of-control ex when she was sloshed.
I had no wiggle room whatsoever.
No safe environment for my kid.
And I made a decision to do something about it.
I refused to let my daughter grow up like that.
I figured she'd never live to adulthood the way things were going.
I absolutely had to get free of my wage job so I could be around to take care of my kid and I could get my drunk-ass ex out of the environment.
The cops made that easy that night.
See, when the deputies arrived and were trying to conduct the investigation she attacked one of them and got to do her first stint in the local jail (one of many).
That was the first peace we'd had in a long time.
I decided that I would need to make it go right to create income with a home business so I could be around for my daughter.
I just could not take another day of sitting at work with a headache wondering if my baby was being tended to, wondering if they had crashed in a drunk driving accident, etc.
That's when I started learning how to do business online.
I had no help.
There were not all these simple "systems" then, that there are now.
There wasn't really much training to be found.
I didn't know anything about email autoresponders.
I didn't know what a domain name was.
I didn't know what web hosting was.
I had never heard of Facebook.
I knew nothing about it.
I had no money and no time.
I made it go right.
Some of you are just too willing to rest on your excuses.
I don't care who you are, you don't have it any worse than I had it when I first started.
I slept about three hours per night for several months just to study HOW to go about it.
I worked during my lunch breaks at my job. I worked during nap times. I worked late into the early morning after my daughter went to sleep.
I had to pay for attorneys on top of my house being foreclosed, on top of dealing with my ex going in and out of jail, alternated with violent episodes of disruption and violence in our home.
I was finally able to get her out of the house, but then I had no babysitter.
It took me a whole year from the time I started my internet business until I could leave my day job.
A year of busting my freakin' ass, hardly sleeping, juggling drunken insanity, legal proceedings, parenting, a job, study, and building my business.
Knowing what I know now I could do it in a couple of weeks.
With what you have available to you, you could do it in a couple of months.
You have resources that I did not have.
You have education that I did not have.
You have access to systems and processes that are already proven, which I did not have.
You also have a lot more opportunities to choose from.
It's really easy to agree with your excuses. Hell, it would have been easy for me to say, "Well, my life is a nightmare. I have no money and no time, and my wife is a drunken psycho. I guess there's nothing I can do about it."
Problem is, there is always something you can do about it.
If there is something you can do to make it worse (and there is) then there is something you can do to make it better.
What's missing for the average person is the TOUGHNESS necessary to push it through and get it done.
See, I didn't have the option of failure. There was no such thing for me.
I was either going to put my daughter in a safe environment and let her have a sane upbringing, or I was going to let her life be at risk every single day, and if she did make it to adulthood, probably end up as an alcoholic herself. Who knows what her teenage years would have been like had I let that continue!
The point is this:
You will create whatever you decide you will create. And that is all there is to it.
You can rest on excuses (reasons why you can't) for the rest of you life, but that doesn't make things better.
No one can force you to want it.
No one can force you to intend the change to happen.
It is up to you to decide to do something about it.
I sincerely hope that your situation is not the nightmare that mine was.
I hope that you're just shuffling bill money around and that's your biggest problem.
If so, Hell, you have it easy.
If you want to start creating 500 or 1,000-dollar days you have all the tools and instructions you need to do so.
You have it about 100X easier than I did just as far as the learning curve. You hardly have any learning curve at all.
But it won't happen unless you make it happen.
It's all up to you.
It's your choice.
I'd encourage your to choose prosperity and improvement over excuses.
It is the better decision.
==> Go here to start doing something about it. (link removed)